Life had blessed me everything — a big home, caring and loving family, financial security and two best friends. Nothing had left to wish.
Of course, I don’t have king size house. Neither, I am blessed with same opinions family nor I was born with silver spoon in mouth. Yes, I did not have too much but had enough to spend a happy life without earning a single dollar.
I was happy because happiness is a choice for me. I believed in celebrating each day. But, something has changed. I can feel that slowly, happiness is going from my life as it stopped to visit at my heart. And over time, it stopped to touch the lips too.
Nothing has changed. Same house, same wall of friends and family. Everything is as same as before. But, still I am not feeling happy. Actually happiness became sadness. More specific, it turned into imprisonment, confinement, loneliness – you can say I was miserable or empty.
I lost… completely lost my self, with no idea how to overcome it.
Why I am not happy? What I need to be happy? What I was missing? What I can do to make myself happy? I asked several time while sitting on the chair. Still, I am trying to get answer.
Finally a line came out from my heart – Your life is completely predictable. You know what is going to be happen very next, in regular activity of every day’s routine life. There is nothing new. Your scheduled is fixed. Even, you don’t know when you have make changes in your daily activity.
To break daily routines you just visit neighbours’, relatives’ or friends’ house for 1-2 hours. Now such visit is also became the part of your regular schedule.
Now, I understood the reason why I am not feeling happy. I know, I need to take big decision as I had no choice. I have to visit the darkest street to brightest road in order to find myself. I know the journey is not easy. More than this, I will be no longer myself.
This decision will change me completely. But, I have no option better than this.
I don’t know where I want to go. Neither, I can predict – where my decision will take me. But, I am pretty sure, whereble I will, I will be happy. And, I will be successful in finding myself.